mmm. self thought. again.

wow.
i had a heart to heart convo with ezy...
WOW
so girly. yeh...mmm now i can answer the question on social interview or w/e. hahhahaa.

lately i've done a lot of self thinking again. don't get me wrong, its not exactly all good.
-rolls eyes up to brain- -harp music-
*self dialogue*

"mmmm,whatcha sayyy, mmm what you only meant wellll? Well of course you did. mmmm watcha saaayy, mmmm that it's all for the best? of course it is. huh whats that? no i will not go out on a party marathon with 20 hot chicks. i've got school."

oops, sorry, didnt see you there.

oh yeh...mmm im will's brain. D: wow. it's so fat. wth do you eat will?

anyways. yeh. im awesome. i know it. i hope chewiee doesnt post this on his blog. what a fag. yeh...im so great 8D so awesome!

-runs out of ideas to be stupid to people reading this blog-

ooo, chocolate mousse. got to go. *clap clap*

yeh. well it wasnt really like that...lately i've been down? i think. "whoah". yeh i can imagine you saying that. "will's always happy and cheerful!"

D: i am? mmm, a factor i hate about myself is that i box all my pain inside of myself. i keep smiling cus i want to see everyone else smiling :]

anyways. lately i've been thinking about my personality. well not just my personality, myself really. me as a person.

the truth is. i get along with others really well. i don't pick fights, don't insult people. im probably known as "the nice guy". i could never get mad at people. with this, i've met some truly amazing people in my life. we start of as great friends. but this were it crashes.

i've never had that many "close close" friends, cus usually my personality is so diverse. cmon, who do you know likes rnb/hip hop/gangster music then also likes pop songs, then also likes rock/punk, and THEN likes techno/electro? who likes to be loud and cheerful so many times, then there are these times where they're quietly drawn to themselves? who do you know who used to breakdance/hip hop, yet plays the piano and plays computer games? who do you know that is studious and gets his A's, though loves to party and go out all the time? and that lies the problem. usually people are associated with a typical personality and likes.

i get on well with some people, but when they see my full self, they think the other side is weird. same with the other side?
but i enjoy being myself?

so the people im around me brings out the part of me who i like to associate with them. but don't get me wrong. it's not changing myself to suit other people. it's other people who are like "one part" of me, and i bring out that part when im around them.

this has also ended up with alot of my friends hating my other friends. :[

i don't think i've yet met someone whose had my similar morals, values and beliefs -sigh i know right! just like school!-

but i've met a couple of people who've accepted my whole package. which i thank them for it. they put up with that weird side i have, cus in the end, it just comes down that we enjoy being around each other. and i know i wouldn't dare be as weird as i am around them with others i don't know. :]

and this has made me think. will i ever find someone else other then her? maybe i was a fool.

~Chewyy